Relationships are difficult, whether they are new or whether you have been married for years, I’m sure at times you will have your differences.  Some relationships can become stale and reach a point when you just don’t understand one another anymore and can often misinterpret what has been said.

If a relationship is becoming more and more difficult then you need to take action to save that relationship before it falls apart.  Of course it is always better if you can prevent the relationship from getting to the stage of falling apart, as they say ‘prevention is the best medicine’.

Here are the five C’s to keeping your relationship strong:

1. Communication – a good relationship needs good communication.  A lack of communication is the number one reason that relationships fail.  This is how relationships can reach the stage when you misinterpret one another and if you don’t communicate you go on believing the misinterpreted statement, when in actual fact it wasn’t as it seemed.  Being able to talk and listen to each other are the best skills that you can have in a relationship.  Communication is a skill that will help you to achieve anything and be successful in life, at work, with your kids, and in your relationship. If you and your partner don’t communicate well then you need to sit down and talk about it and learn to communicate.  If you can’t learn to communicate with one another, then your relationship might be doomed.

2. Compromise – although it’s not always easy on some occasions you need to learn to compromise.  Being able to compromise can solve a lot of problems and plays a big role in having a healthy relationships.  Of course this doesn’t mean that you have to give in to your partner every time, you will both need to find a compromise that works for both of you.  To have a healthy relationship you both need to be happy so if there is something that you are not happy about then you need to come to some sort of agreement that will satisfy you both.  Compromise is the key to a happy relationship.

3. Commitment – a healthy relationships needs commitment from both parties.  If only one person is committed to the relationship and everything is one sided then it won’t last.  Relationships aren’t always easy and to get through those tough times you both need to be committed to one another.  If you are committed you can get through anything together.

4. Celebrate – take time out to celebrate the important moments in your life.  Celebrate what you have together and show your partner how much you appreciate them and enjoy your life together.  You don’t need a special occasion to show your partner that you care you can do it anytime.  When you show that you care then they will reciprocate and show you how much they care.  This is a much happier cycle to be in than a cycle of not trusting and misinterpreting each other.  When you love your partner and show them and remind them that you love them, then they will do the same in return.  Don’t wait for special occasions; celebrate your love any time.

5. Conclusion – whenever you have a disagreement don’t let it go on for days unresolved.  The key to a healthy relationships is never going to be angry.  If you have a disagreement then discuss it and find a conclusion so that you can both move on and be happy.  Don’t let little arguments turn into week long arguments, find a conclusion and move on.

If you are committed to one another, love and respect one another then you should be able to have a happy, lifelong relationship together.  But even those who are head over heels in love will have some difficult times, work together and keep communication lines open and your relationship will get through those tough times.  A good relationship is worth working for.

We all have our own unique relationship needs, some people like to have a relationship with someone who is funny, some need someone who is spontaneous, whatever it may be. But there are also some ‘basics’ that everyone needs (even if they don’t know they need it) to keep a relationship strong, healthy and stable.

It’s always best to understand that there is no such thing as perfect but there can be a ‘perfect for you’. It’s important that you establish the ‘minimum requirements’ for anyone that you continue a relationship, or start one,  with.

It really just boils down to basic decency and treating each other properly.  Some of the basic minimums that you want in order to have a strong relationship are:

1. Honesty and integrity. I have a few friends who have been in relationships with guys who are not honest and have no real integrity. These guys lie, cheat and probably steal. Who in their right mind would want to enter into, or continue, a relationship with someone they can’t even trust?  Sorry, but that’s just plain stupid.

2. Maturity. Whenever you are in a relationship, especially the older you get, you want your partner to be a ‘grown up’. Life is unexpected, you need a strong partner by your side. When you face challenges in your life the last thing you want is someone who is going to fall apart.

If that happens not only do you have to deal with the situation on your own, you’ll also have to hold up your partner. Trust me, that can get exhausting.

3. The ability to communicate. It’s very important that both of you know how to talk to each other. You need to find constructive ways to let your partner know what you want and need.

You also need to be able to listen calmly to what your partner has to say, some of which you may not want to hear. If both of you can do these things, your relationship will be smoother and more fulfilling.

4. Stability. This goes along with maturity. You want someone who knows when it’s time to have fun and when it’s time to get down to business. It’s hellish to be in a relationship with someone who can’t seem to tell the difference.

It might be fun when the two of first start out to be with someone spontaneous and carefree, but when the two of you start having responsibilities not being able to count on your partner will get really old really quickly.

There are never guarantees in a relationship, sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t. If you take a little time to think about the traits that you should have in a partner and then look for those traits, you will have a much better chance of having a fulfilling and loving relationship.

Recognize what relationship needs you have and look for those qualities in whoever you date. Don’t lie to yourself, if the person you are dating can’t deliver at least a minimum of quality traits, keep looking.

All the best.
Ludmilla.